It's Complicated
by 0NekoGamiSama0
Summary: Feelings are usually very difficult to understand, especially if left to ponder upon by yourself. Natsuki centric story, with the other cast gaining some air time as well. Multi Chapter, Natsuki x Shizuru, Yuri. Rated M. for descriptive sexual themes.


Disclaimer: Mai-HiME is the property of Sunrise and no profit is made from this.

Warning: The following story is considered a Yuri, which means it'll include an intimate relationship between two women. If you find this repulsive and/or offensive in any way reconsider your choice of story. Rated M for descriptive sexual themes.

Author's Notes: Okay, my first fanfiction ever. This is my vision of what could happen in the following months after the HiME carnival. I haven't read many Mai-HiME stories (and even most of those have been Mai-Otome) so I apologize if this kind of story has been done a hundred time before but I don't think I'll offend anyone by posting this. I hope you'll enjoy what you read and wish you'll leave some feedback in the form of constructive criticism and in good spirit on your way out. Flames are also welcome, they're good for the laughs.

If the need to ask questions arises or you want to contact me just for the fun of it, feel free to PM me or contact me directly to my e-mail. More information on my profile.

* * *

**It's Complicated**

A Mai-HiME story

By: NekoGamiSama

Chapter 01: Facing Reality.

* * *

Mai watched for the second week in a row as her new roommate stumbled out of her room. The girls skin was flawless but very pale, which only made the dark bags under her eyes seem even darker. Her hair was a tangled mess, the lovely colored locks pointing all in random and different directions. Even the girls usually determined stroll was now reduced to a slow and tired attempt at walking, making Mai worried that her friend might trip over from the slightest of nudges.

The girl she was keeping her eye on over her shoulder didn't seem to notice her worried glances as she disappeared to the bathroom. Mai sighed, not knowing what to do. The red head put the rest of their Bento's in shape (as those were what she was currently working on) and placed them on the kitchen counter so everyone could pick up their own when leaving for class.

Mikoto finished her huge breakfast quickly like usual and grabbed her lunch from the counter. "Thank you Mai!" she said cheerily and rushed out from the front door but not before giving the redhead a tight and squeezing hug. The golden eyed girl had surprised everyone by slowly getting over her reluctance to leave Mai's side, often managing to go for a few hours without any contact with the red head. No one said that she had made a huge improvement, but just the small step towards independence had been a large load off for Mai.

When her friend still hadn't emerged from the bathroom after more than five minutes, Mai moved over and lightly knocked on the door. "Natsuki? We're going to be late from class." she said tentatively, slightly trying the doorknob. "Natsuki?" she asked again after noticing the door to be locked and when the raven haired girl offered no answer.

"I'll be right there.." a tired voice answered quietly.

Mai could hear the strain in Natsuki's voice but decided that now was not the right time to be asking about it. She had in fact tried asking about it a week ago and after receiving only an angry glare and some dissatisfied grunts as answer, Mai had reluctantly decided to let the matter be. "Your bento is on the counter, don't forget to pick it up before leaving." Mai said in her motherly tone, now feeling like she had two children living with her. "And remember to lock the door, you're the last one out today." she continued, inwardly noting that this was not the first time when Natsuki had waited everyone to leave before her. "Bye! See you at lunch!"

Natsuki heard the front door open and close soon after, leaving her alone in their dorm. She sighed in relief as she didn't want to face Mai yet, though she knew she'd have to give her friend an explanation sooner or later. She decided that she'd rather go with later, much later if things played out well. The dark blue haired girl sat on the floor of their bathroom, her back leaning on their tub. The cold tiles under her felt nice against her bare legs, cooling down her heated body. She was a mess and she knew it but she just wasn't ready to face the truth yet although she really had no idea what the truth was. She knew that if she ever wanted to have a chance to regain her normal composure, she'd really need to talk to somebody. The list of people she felt comfortable enough to talk to was short, consisting from only three people, Mai, Shizuru and just barely Nao.

Nao and Natsuki had.. bonded, she decided in the absence of a better word, over the past few months. The redhead was still as sharp as bitter ale and was not afraid to take Natsuki down a peg, but they had started to get over their hatred of one another. They were what some could consider friends, though both were too stubborn to admit it, but Natsuki decided that they were not that far in their relationship to talk about as private matters as what currently plagued her mind.

Mai was probably her best shot, she was understanding and considerate but best of all, Mai was honest. She knew that this redhead was not afraid to set Natsuki straight if she saw reason for it, sometimes she felt that Mai tended to scold her even if she herself saw no reason for it.

Shizuru.. well, she obviously couldn't talk to her considering that her unrest was largely due to the tawny haired girl. Natsuki shivered lightly, only thinking about the red eyed woman caused ripples to cascade down her back and as they fist started to appear, Natsuki had thought them to be out of fear. After a few weeks of this however, she realized (much to her surprise) that the shivers had actually been quite pleasant and later on damn exciting..

She rubbed her temples roughly as if trying to banish some evil spirits living inside her head. She rose to her feet, exited the bathroom and quickly got dressed for school. "Great.." she sighed as she caught a glimpse herself in the mirror. She hadn't realized that she looked _that_ bad. Shaking her head, Natsuki stepped outside and decided that she didn't care what she looked like and what people might think of her and promised herself that next time Mai asked her to talk to her, she would.

* * *

The school day went on as usual, boring Natsuki to death with lectures she couldn't have cared for more. She glanced out the window and sighed deeply, as if trying to let out the stress that currently weighted her down. It was late summer or early fall, depending on whom you asked. The weather was still sunny and warm during the day, but towards the evening the temperature fell slightly, giving the air a nice, crisp tinge which caused peoples exhales become visible as small puffs of steam.

Summer break was over rather quickly and the new semester was well on its way by now, but somehow the raven haired girl couldn't find it in her to actually care and concentrate on her studies. Her last year had gone quickly much due to the carnival of the HiME's but during that time she had not been able to attend school very much, causing her to be slightly behind her classmates this giving her even more reason to study harder now.

"Kuga?"

Her attention suddenly snapped back to the classroom, her teacher and few classmates glancing her way. She looked confused for a brief time but then a small scowl formed on her face, hating how she had suddenly become the focus of attention. "What?"

The teacher sighed as he looked down and shook his head. "Nothing. Now as I was saying..." he continued with his lecture.

Natsuki spaced out again, not giving another thought to the class.

* * *

"Whoa, your Bento looks as delicious as always!" Chie gasped, looking at the lunch Mai had prepared for herself as well as for Mikoto and Natsuki. "I wish Mai did my lunch too.." she mumbled silently, but not quietly enough.

"Oi!" Aoi swatted at the school gossip.

"Not that yours is any less good!" Chie quickly corrected. "You know how much I love food prepared by you!"

"You'd better!"

Their little 'lovers quarrel' caused smiles to erupt around the group, everyone enjoying their lunch break to the fullest. Chie and Aoi continued their little ramble for a while but soon settled to enjoy their foods and Mikoto munched on as usual with Yukino still looking at her in awe after all this time. Tate tried his best to steal an occasional peck from Mai who usually swatted him away if Shiho didn't beat her to it and Natsuki sat quietly, nibbling on her food with little interest.

The group focused their attention to the silent girl, not really knowing how to act within this unusual atmosphere. Her quietness was not really the issue, Natsuki wasn't much of a person with words and she rarely spoke to anyone if she didn't have anything of importance to say. What really caused the attention was the change of her demeanor, she used to radiate this aura of confidence and self assurance, now she oozed bad vibes, agitation and almost this sort of depression. Soon realizing that she was the center of attention again, Natsuki laid her lunchbox down and looked up from her lap. "Hey, isn't Takumi coming back in a while?" she asked, hoping to divert the focus somewhere else, rather than having it stuck on her.

"Oh, um yeah." Mai answered, obviously taken off-guard by the sudden mention of her brother. "The operation was successful so.."

"That's great!" the long haired brunette smiled.

"Yeah, it is." Mai smiled. "They're just waiting for him to recuperate a little before the long flight back to Japan." she explained, a happy and a relieved smile on her face. Tate gently squeezed her hand and smiled at her, a rare sign of affection in public but Mai happily accepted it. "I can't wait to have him back here though."

"I bet." Chie nodded. "He's gotta have a lot of things to tell you."

"Wait." Aoi suddenly said, an enthusiastic glow around her. "Didn't he go with Akira-kun..?"

"That's right!" the handsome girl joined her friend in the giddiness department.

Mai soured and raised a fist in to the air. "Don't even go there!" she commanded, recalling a certain conversation about her brother and his roommate some time ago.

As Chie and Aoi escaped Mai's wrath, Natsuki let out a breath of relief she hadn't realized she was holding. She picked her food and resumed eating albeit in her slow way, not really caring what she ate. The comment that came next shocked the whole group, no one really knowing how to react.

"Is something wrong with Natsuki?"

The question in itself was not surprising, the very question had been on everyone's mind for the past few weeks. The source of sudden vocalization of the mystery lingering on the air was what had startled the group of students. Mikoto laid on her back on the grass in front of Natsuki, her golden eyes looking up in worry as she got a good look of the older girls face. She tilted her head slightly, in an adorable and childish manner, trying to pry the answer from her friend.

Natsuki looked away, trying to come up with something to say. She realized her friends were worried about her but with this many people around her, she couldn't bring herself to talk about what bothered her. She looked at the group around her and could see a glint of anticipation in their eyes, though she knew they tried their best to hide it. Then she glanced at Mikoto, the younger girls eyes filled with honest concern for which Natsuki felt a bang of guilt forming in her guts. "It's nothing, I guess I'm just tired.." she finally replied, not knowing what else to say really. Her answer was not a lie, but not the whole truth either and she knew her friends realized this. She was glad to see her friends shrug slightly, appreciating that they let the matter pass although they could easily tell that Natsuki was not being completely honest.

"You should sleep more then." Mikoto replied innocently.

"Thanks, I'll try." the quiet girl smiled albeit a tired one, but really appreciated the younger girls concern for her.

The rest of the lunch time was spent chatting quietly, everyone trying their best to fill the quiet spots with nonsense much to Natsuki's relief.

* * *

"Psst, Mai?" a nudge from behind her got Mai's attention. Chie slightly tapped on her back with the tip of her finger, trying her best to do it quietly without gathering much attention from others in the classroom. "Have you gotten anything out of Natsuki?" she whispered quietly.

Mai shook her head slightly. "She's always so angry whenever I try asking her about it.."

"Giving up?" Chie smirked knowing that wasn't the case. "She's a tough one.."

"Tell me about it.." the redhead sighed. "She's so.. stubborn." Mai settled for that word, though she had a list of less flattering adjectives to describe her friend.

Chie snickered at Mai's frustrated face but quickly turned back serious. "Lucky for us she's not on our class, she'd probably bite our heads off if she heard us talking about her."

"Very true." Aoi whispered close by, having heard the other two talking. "Seriously though.. There's not much we can do until Natsuki talks to us, us meaning Mai most likely."

"I know." Mai sighed. "But I rather not force it out of her.. she'll most likely close up on us even more if I try." the redhead pondered, mostly mumbling to herself. "I'm really at a loss here.. I'm worried about her sure, but if she herself doesn't show any signs of wanting a shoulder or something, there's not much I can offer her."

"That's not your fault." the handsomely featured girl said sympathetically, understanding very well why Mai was frustrated. "We'll just need to give her some space and let her come to us on her own accord."

"Nothing much else can be done." Aoi nodded in agreement.

Mai returned her attention back to class, noticing how the teacher was starting to glance in their direction with a disapproving frown on his face.

* * *

"Oi, Mikoto.." Mai sighed as the smaller girl latched herself around Mai's waist and neck like she always did. "I'm trying to cook here, we'll end up burning ourselves like this.."

"But I'm hungry Mai." the girl whined. "I want Mai's Ramen!"

"The longer your stuck on me, the longer it'll take for me to prepare the food." the redhead said confidently, knowing this to be a sure way to get Mikoto off her back. And sure enough, the girl quickly detached herself but not without showing Mai a small pout that had formed on her lips. "Stop with the sulking, go take your bath now or you'll go to bed without dinner." And before she had been able to finish her sentence, Mikoto had disappeared to the bathroom. She heard the front door open and close, indicating that their third roommate had arrived back home. Mai glanced towards the door and saw Natsuki pealing off her shoes and her biker outfit. "Had a nice ride?" she asked cheerily, trying her best to mask her concern.

"Yeah, it was alright."

After hearing an answer, Mai wasn't sure how to react. She had not in all honesty expected Natsuki to answer, she thought that the raven haired girl would ignore her like every night and walk straight into her bedroom. Realizing she should probably answer somehow but still too dumbfounded to actually form any rational words, she settled for a wide smile which she knew must have looked forced to some degree. "Well, that's good." she finally said, returning back to her task. "Dinner's ready soon if your hungry."

"Actually I'm starving." Natsuki replied with a sheepish smile as she scratched the back of her head awkwardly.

"Good, 'cause there's a lot." Mai smiled genuinely this time, happy her friend was acting more like herself.

"Mai..?" Natsuki suddenly stepped a little closer to the redhead but still stayed a few steps behind her, trying to hide the nervous tone creeping to her voice. After noticing she had her friends full attention, she mustered up her courage. "I'd um.. that is.. you know, if you have time.." she mumbled, hating how weak she must have sounded at the moment. Mai didn't say anything to give her friend all the time she needed, which Natsuki appreciated greatly. "I'd like to talk to you for a moment after dinner, if that's fine?"

"Of course!" Mai beamed. "That's what friends are for."

A few moment later Mikoto got out of the bath and rushed to the table. The dinner was eaten rather quickly and in a comfortable atmosphere, no one really forcing herself to say anything if not wanting to but not in complete silence either. After finishing her dinner and getting her belly full of her favorite food, Mikoto all but passed out on her bed, a small line of drool dripping out of the edge of her mouth. "Mm.. Mai's Ramen.." the girl mumbled on her sleep.

Mai sighed as she watched the younger girl sleep, she had no idea how Mikoto could love her food _that_ much but was secretly quite proud of herself and her cooking skills. "So.." she said as she saw Natsuki sitting on their sofa, probably waiting for her. "I'll quickly wash the dishes and put away the leftovers, why don't you take a bath meanwhile?"

"Sure." the serious girl nodded and walked to the bathroom. After filling the tub and undressing herself, Natsuki stepped in the hot water, relaxing considerably as the warmth of the water embraced her. She leaned her head back on the edge of the tub and closed her eyes, a pair of familiar crimson eyes soon appearing into her mind, making her smile slightly. She wasn't quite sure why she was thinking of Shizuru so frequently as of late though she had a really good guess. This was what had robbed her from sleep on numerous nights, her head was filled with images of the former student council President. Her ears ringed with her Kyoto-ben accent and her teasing laughter. Her nostrils were filled with her fresh, slightly perfumed scent. Her heart raced from the sight of Shizuru's genuine smile, which she knew the tawny haired girl rarely shared with others. Her lips tingled from the touch of Shizuru's.. "God.." Natsuki let out a breath she had unconsciously been holding. "Shizuru.." she whispered quietly, a smile forming back on her face. She stepped out of the tub and after drying herself she stepped into the living room only to find Mai fast asleep on the sofa. She sighed but smiled warmly despite of herself. Natsuki hadn't realized she'd spent that long in the bathroom but she wasn't at all disappointed at Mai. She walked over to her friend and pulled a small blanket over the redhead who mumbled something about Tate in her sleep. The raven haired girl rolled her eyes and suppressed the urge to smack her friend slightly. She quietly made her way to her own bed, knowing she now had the courage to talk to Mai tomorrow.

To be continued.


End file.
